A Place to Call Home
by Silent Hopes
Summary: Cat is a former child star who had her spirit crushed long ago. She meets a stranger one day who takes her to Hollywood Arts - a free school for students like herself. Will her new friends help her find her zest for life once again?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. Not much use now, seeing as the last episode aired. You will be missed.**

**PROLOGUE**

"Caterina Valentine, 9-years-old. Is that you?"

"Yes! But everyone calls me Cat!" I make sure to smile as I stand in front of the panel of adults. They're in charge of casting for the commercial I'm auditioning for. They wanted to talk to everyone by themselves, so right now it's just us in the room.

A lady speaks up. "It says here that you've been acting for a long time. Do you like acting?"

"Yes! It's a lot of fun! I get to play pretend and when I get my make-up done I feel like a princess!"

The panel people are all smiling and some are even laughing a little. Sometimes I think they're laughing at me, but Mom says when they do it's a good thing and they think I'm cute.

"You have a very nice smile."

"Thank you! I like smiling!"

"Now Cat," a man with glasses on talks next, "one of the girls in this commercial is very sad that her toy has broken. Can you look sad for us?"

_Think of Grandpa in Heaven…_

I think of Grandpa and his hugs, his jokes, and tears start to slide down my cheeks. The panel of adults start talking to each other. I can't really hear what they're saying until the man in the glasses speaks up.

"That's really impressive. Thank you Cat."

I think they like me!

…

It's been a few weeks, and I got the part! I've had other auditions, too, and I wish there was someone other than family I could talk to. I can't seem to make any friends at school. They don't like me.

Our teacher is in the middle of a spelling lesson when the class phone rings. It only took a moment before she hung up the phone back up.

"Cat, that was the office. Apparently your mother is here to pick you up right now."

"Oh, okay."

I start packing up my things, but I hear the whispers.

_"She always gets out of class. Famous people are so lucky."_

_"She thinks she's so special because she's on TV."_

_"Yeah, she's so stuck up."_

_"I wish I could be in a commercial."_

I rush out of the room and meet my mom at the office. I still feel like I could cry at any second, but I do my best to steady my voice and stay strong. Because mommy said that crying makes me look ugly, so I try not to do it in front of her.

She grabs my hand and we walk to the parking lot to find her car.

"We're going to go home and get you into that nice new sundress, because guess what? We're going to drive to your new job! You got the lead role for the long-running musical 'Sunshine on Cloud Nine'! You get to perform at the Orpheum Theatre! Congratulations!"

We're already in the car and speeding off. My mom looks happy, but I want to ask her anyway, even though it might make her upset.

"Mom, why do I have to miss school? The other kids-"

"The other kids aren't as special as you." She cuts me off. "And remember what I told you: we all only have so much time to spend, so sometimes things must be sacrificed to make room for more important things."

"But mom I…" I trail off.

_I'm always alone._

…

It's our first day for "Sunshine on Cloud Nine", and we're having a cast meeting, where we meet everyone with speaking roles and start reading the script together. Mom and I were stuck in traffic, so we're a little late. I look around the room and everyone is older than me, except one girl. She looks my age.

I'm about to walk over to her, but the director is already in front of us.

"Sorry we're late! Traffic was terrible." My mom explains.

"That's alright, you're not _too_ late. Just don't make it a habit." He turns around and faces everyone else, and claps his hands together loudly. "Alright everyone, time to start the introductions! We have decided to double cast the main role, so now we have two leading ladies."

He looks over to the other girl and motions for her to come forward. She walks up to us and we stand side by side, then he places his hands on our shoulders.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you Cat Valentine and Danielle Murano, who will be playing the role of Penelope!"

Everybody claps and Danielle turns to face me, sticking out her hand. "I'm excited to be working together with you. Let's do our best!" She gives a small smile.

I take her hand and shake it, but then I jump into her and hug her. I can tell she's shocked, but she hugs me back a little.

Together is such a wonderful word!

…

We're a month into rehearsals for the show, and it's really fun! I'm so glad it's double cast, otherwise I never would have met Danielle! Mom doesn't like it. She says the director should have been satisfied with just me, and keeps telling me not to lose to "that other girl". Why does she always make it about winning and losing? I don't get it. She's my best friend! People are still mean to me at school, but that's okay, because I have Danielle now.

"Alright, everyone! Take five!" The choreographer calls out. Everybody starts moving around. Most people go to get their water bottles, and Danielle and I do the same. After we're done drinking, she turns to me.

"I need to go to the bathroom. Do you want to come with me?"

"Sure!"

We walk out of the dance studio and down the hallway.

"How'd you get so good at dancing?" She asks. "You're picking up the moves a lot faster than I am. I'm pretty jealous."

"It's because I've been taking dance lessons since I was three." I explain. "You're doing really good though, Danielle!"

"Thanks."

We go to the restroom, and we start heading back towards the studio. All of a sudden Danielle stops and grabs my arm.

"Shhh! Do you hear that?" She whispers.

I shake my head, and she pulls me to one of the doors in the hallway. It's open slightly, so we can hear the people talking inside.

"It's coming from in here! I think it's the director."

"Danielle, we could get in trouble! Let's go back."

She puts her finger to her lips, and the director starts talking again.

"Cat's experienced, so she's good, but Danielle on the other hand…"

"Danielle's doing a lot better than when she first started, don't you think?" I'm pretty sure that's the stage manager.

"Yes, but she's still not as good as Cat. She doesn't have as much training, and I'm afraid that pretty soon the audience will be able to tell how inexperienced she is. Maybe I should have gone with a single cast role."

I look over to Danielle, and she's frozen. I don't think I've ever seen that fear in her eyes before, she's always so strong. Suddenly she turns and marches off toward the dance room. I try my best to keep up, but she tries to stay ahead of me. I can't take it!

"Danielle!" I run in front of her and block her way.

"What? Do you want to rub it in my face? That you're better than me?" She's snarling at me, but she looks like she's about to cry. I don't want her to hate me.

"I… I can help you! I can work on the dancing and the acting and the singing with you! Let me help!" I plead with her. "I only get compliments because of past experience. I'll teach you everything! Please don't quit! Please…"

I feel like crying, too. I don't want to lose her.

She wipes her eyes, and hugs me. "Thank you, Cat."

…

Danielle has been coming over to my house, and we've been working really hard! She's gotten a lot better, and everyone is starting to see how good she's become! We've finally started working with the stage, and I'm in the audience watching Danielle practice her parts.

Once she's finished, the director walks up to the edge of the stage. "Great work, Danielle! You've really improved! I'm impressed."

Soon everyone is complementing her, and she looks so happy! I catch her eye, and give her two thumbs up, but she turns away.

_Huh?_

Maybe she didn't see me. I'll tell her later how proud I am of her!

…

It's a long time since Danielle's spoken to me. Usually we stay up late talking on the phone! I feel like she's avoiding me. Why? What did I do wrong? I just want to be with my best friend. Mom says I'm slipping, that I need to concentrate or I'll lose to her. I hope Danielle is just nervous about the show. She'll go back to her normal self after this is all over, right?

It's opening night, and Danielle is doing Act One and I'm doing Act Two, so we can both be a part of the first day. Our performance is being televised too, so it's very important for both of us to do well. We're not twins or anything, but wearing the same costume helps. Especially since Penelope's character has crazy curly hair, so we have to wear wigs. We both have brown hair and the wig is brown, too, so it looks more natural. I'm sitting backstage in my costume, waiting for my turn to get my make-up done. Danielle is getting hers done when someone bursts into the main room downstairs, where I'm sitting.

"Danielle just fainted! What do we do?"

What? It's less than an hour until we're supposed to start!

Everyone goes into a panic. I'm just in shock and I feel myself being dragged around, and I guess in the chaos they decided to get me ready to perform the whole show myself. Suddenly Danielle stumbles into the room.

"I can do it!" She yells. "I can perform! Please… let me perform! Please!"

They argue with her, telling her to sit it out since she's not feeling well, but she doesn't budge. We're both put through make up and it's almost time for us to start.

"Cat, you wait in the wings. If Danielle passes out, the dancers will take her offstage and you'll jump in. You can just improvise a reason why Penelope fainted, okay?"

"Okay." I look to Danielle. Her face is more focused than I've ever seen it.

She takes her place onstage and the curtains rise, and she's incredible! She doesn't even seem sick or weak or anything! But… her every expression, her ever move is just like mine. I realize that all this time I've been worried about her, thinking about her… she's been getting better. She's better than me.

Act One ends, and the curtain falls. Everyone is waiting in the wings for her, and as soon as the curtain is completely down, they rush out to the stage and surround her.

"You were amazing!"

"Incredible! Such professional work!"

"Tonight, a real star is born."

I stand frozen to my spot, watching as she gets the praise she deserves. I don't know why I'm not happy for her. Soon everyone goes away, back to their jobs or the dressing rooms. She's still standing onstage, and she sees me. She walks over to me and I will never forget what she said. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but I could hear her clearly.

"I will never let you have the spotlight. How sad for little Cat, having no friends, all alone. All you had was your fame. And I have that now." She smirks. "I win."

She leaves me there, and I don't even feel time pass. Someone points to the stage, telling me Act Two is about to begin. I stand center stage, and the curtain rises. I feel the spotlight, but I can't move. I can't speak. I can't do anything. I can feel my world crumbling under my feet, and I can't stop it. The only thing that's real are the words echoing inside of me.

_All alone._

_No friends._

_I win. I win. I WIN._

It feels like an eternity before the curtains close again. The burgundy velvet touches the stage, and I feel myself falling. The world around me goes black.

**A/N: Interested? Keep reading! I wanted to post the prologue and next chapter at the same time you you could get a feel of the story before you decide if you like it or not.**


	2. Chapter 2

It's been seven years since my world fell apart. I barely ate, barely slept, and it seemed all I did was cry. I was so torn apart by Danielle's betrayal that Mom didn't even make me go to school or audition for anything anymore. I thought they might try to put me in a mental hospital, like that show I had a part in once, but they never did. I guess I should have known better looking at my brother. They'd rather hide us in their home than face the fact that we weren't normal.

I get out of bed, throw something on to wear, and walk to the bathroom. After I splash water on my face, I look at myself in the mirror, and my hair falls around my shoulders. Red velvet, like the curtains that day. I'm not sure why I decided to dye my hair like this, but it suits me. I think it's because it was the last color I saw before the world became duller. Everything now just seems a little bit gray.

I wipe off my face, then walk downstairs to the kitchen. Mom and Dad were talking before, but they immediately stop once I enter the room. I grab a breakfast bar and leave. I sit by the front door to put on my shoes, and I can hear my parents start talking again.

"She's sixteen years old, and just watching her life go by. I wonder how much longer she intends to mope around."

"Don't say that!" Mom scolds. "It's my fault she got this way. She just needs time to heal."

"But seven years, Laura?"

I don't stick around to hear the rest of the conversation. I don't know where I'm headed, but I need to get out of that house. I wander the park, the streets, just looking for something, I don't know what. I look up at the buildings and see her face. Danielle Murano. She's on a giant billboard because she's starring in a new film. She's been successful lately. I try to ignore it.

After a while, I get hungry, and I end up at Q's Bar & Grill. It's one of my usual places. Luckily Todd is on bartending duty, so I sit with him at the bar. He's always looking out for me. Like the uncle I never had. I like him because he doesn't talk much, and he doesn't expect me to talk much either. It's a comfortable silence.

"Hey Cat. The usual?"

"Yes please."

After a moment he hands me an Arnold Palmer. Half iced tea, half lemonade. It's really refreshing.

"Hey miss." I feel someone slide on the stool next to me, and another guy stands over where I'm sitting. I don't look up and just stare at my drink. "Are you alone? How about school? You look like you're in high school."

I take a sip of my drink, hoping they'll go away. They don't.

"Do you want to come somewhere with us? Hey, did you hear me? Hey." He moves closer to me and I'm prepared to splash my drink in his face when Todd's voice stops me.

"Excuse me sirs, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We don't allow guys to pick up girls here."

They grumble, swearing as they leave.

"Thanks Todd." I hear myself say.

"No problem." He turns his back to me and keeps working. After a while my burger arrives, and everything falls back into its normal routine. No surprises, no hidden tricks. Just how I like it.

I finish my meal and pay. After I exit the grill, I'm back to wandering the city. I don't get very far when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump and turn around. There's a man standing there, dressed in a mishmash of patterned, baggy clothes, and he's not wearing any shoes. His head is nearly bald, but the hair he does have that's ringing his scalp is sticking out in crazy directions. The weirdest part is, he's drinking out of a coconut. This guy must be a crazy homeless person.

"I saw your unfortunate encounter in there. I hope those hooligans don't bother you again."

Oh. He must have some money to go out to eat. So he's not homeless. Just crazy.

"Well," he continues. "You're not in school now? Have you received your mandatory education?"

I just stand there. I'm not quite sure how to respond.

"There's a great place pretty close to here. Why don't you come and take a look at it with me?"

"I'm not like that." I respond. "If you want to play around with some girl, go find someone else."

He stares at me, into my eyes with such intensity, I feel frozen where I stand. He finally speaks. "You have the eyes of an elementary schooler."

_What?_

"If you don't like what you see, you're free to leave. Why don't you just look at it?"

He turns and walks away. I watch him through the crowd, and my feet start to follow. Something must be wrong with me, because I'm fighting not to lose him.

He turns his head. "It's called Hollywood Arts. I think you'll fit right in."

If he shows any weird behavior, I can just run away. I don't know how far I've followed him but he stops and turns around, flinging out his arms.

"Here it is! This is Hollywood Arts."

I stare at the large building in front of me.

"It's… a school?"

"Not just any school!" He exclaims. "It's a free school. Students who don't go to regular school for whatever reason can come here. It's a place to discover your passion! As long as you are passionate about something, it is art."

I look around at the "students". There's a kid lying on a bench, another plucking a guitar in the field, and others doing equally non-studious activities. The only one who looks like a student is sitting at a lunch table reading a book.

"So what do you think? Would you like to attend? We have a pretty good library, so you can even look up whatever you need or just relax in the grass to read."

I can't take this place seriously.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not so messed up that I belong in an institution that makes no sense."

His face turns serious. "This is not an institution. This is like a home away from home. Do you have a place you feel you belong right now?"

Who does this guy think he is? "You… how would you…!"

"Morning Sikowitz. Who's this?" I look over to see the boy who was reading the book earlier. He's tall with olive skin and dark hair. I can't help but notice how handsome he is. "Wait, I recognize you. You're… Cat, right? Cat, who lost her voice. You look so different with the red hair. I went to see your show, opening day."

That's right. _Cat Who Lost Her Voice_. It made the news. For fifteen minutes until the curtains closed, I was under full spotlight, still as a statue in the middle of the stage.

"So you're going to start coming here?" The boy kept talking.

I didn't know what to do. I ran. I ran and ran until I came to the park by my house. I was completely out of breath, and completely confused. What was that place? Is my failure still that well known? I grabbed one of the swings and rocked back and forth, while thoughts swirled in my head. I don't understand!

"Hey." I shoot my head up. There's a boy with curly hair and glasses standing behind two little girls. "I think these girls want to use the swings. Do you mind moving? Please?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." I get up and walk over to the benches as the girls jump on the swings. They say their "thank you"s to the boy, and I watch them play for a bit. The boy sits next to me on the bench.

"Cat, right? You haven't changed. You were always spacing out in elementary school. Well, your hair is different. But it looks good on you."

I turn to him. "Elementary school…?" is all I manage to get out.

"You don't remember? I'm Robbie. Robbie Shapiro."

**A/N: Yes, yes, I know, Cat is kinda depressing. But this is her journey of finding love and life after going so long without them! Review and let me know what you think. I have a feeling I'm gonna have fun with this story :)**


	3. Chapter 3

I stare at the boy sitting next to me on the bench.

_Robbie Shapiro… Robbie Shapiro…_

Oh, now I remember. Robbie. He was in my 4th grade class. From the seat behind me, he was always playing with a puppet. The puppet's name also started with an R. His name was Rex, I think. Everybody thought that puppet was funny, but it was always mean to me. That's probably why they liked it. Robbie always apologized for him, but it still hurt.

He was always making people laugh and said he wanted to be a famous comedian when he grew up. Now that I think about it, he lived pretty close to my house.

Robbie turned and pointed to a house behind the park. "That's where I live."

I thought so.

"You sure come here a lot. I can see you from my window."

"You spy on me?"

"Yes I do."

I… I don't know how to react. I must have had the most startled expression on my face because he suddenly starts laughing.

"I'm kidding! You still don't quite know how to take a joke." He smiles at me.

I feel my face turn red. He's laughing at me!

"Hey, Robbie!"

I turn around and see a bunch of kids our age heading toward us.

Robbie stands up and greets them. "Hey guys! What are you doing here?"

A boy with spiky blonde hair answers. "You told us to come over today to borrow that DVD collection yours."

"Oh right. I forgot."

A girl with short brown hair speaks next. "Hey! Since we're here we might as well watch it at your house!"

"Girls aren't allowed at my house so you can't come." He jokes.

"What? How mean!" She nudges him a little and the group laughs. They keep joking and laughing and the conversation starts heading toward schoolwork.

I watch them, and remember. Robbie was always like this. He was always surrounded by other people, making them laugh. I always wanted to be a part of that group, and would watch them from a distance. Just like now.

Suddenly one of the boys turns his attention toward me. "So Robbie, who's your beautiful friend here?"

"Is she your date or something?" The short haired girl asked. "Good for you, Robbie."

Robbie held up his hand. "What? Not at all, nothing like that."

"Wait a minute." The spiky blonde boy leans towards me. "Haven't I seen you somewhere before? You look really familiar…"

The others join in.

"Now that you mention it, I think I've seen you before, too."

"Yeah, me too."

"Hmm…"

"Guys, she's just my friend from elementary school." Robbie steps in. "That's all. Now, you can go on to my house and I'll meet you there."

"How suspicious…" One of the boys teases.

"Yeah. Reeeal suspicious!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Robbie shoos them away.

"Don't keep us waiting too long!"

The group disappears from sight and Robbie turns back to me. "I'm sorry for my obnoxious friends. They're a bit annoying, in school and out."

"It wasn't necessary for you to cover for me." I say. "You should have just told them. I'm a failed child actress and a loner. You know I'm not doing anything now."

Words pour from my mouth and I can't stop them. "I bet you're laughing at me, too."

_What am I saying?_

"Cat?"

"Are you still playing with that puppet? And still trying to be a famous comedian?"

"Oh, you remember. No, Rex I got rid of years ago. And of course I'm still trying to be a comedian."

"How stupid. You should stick to playing with your funny little toys. You know that pipedream will never come true."

I get up and run, run away.

Terrible. I'm such a terrible human being.

Why did I say that?

I need to hide! Someplace… someplace no one can ever bother me.

Someplace I can't hurt anyone, and where no one can hurt me.

…

I stare up at the ceiling from my bed. I never want to leave these blankets again.

_Knock knock._

"Cat, I brought you some food." My mom's voice is slightly muffled from behind my locked door. "Cat, you haven't eaten in two days. Are you okay?"

I pull my covers over my head. I don't want anyone anymore.

"I'll leave the tray outside your door. Please eat, Cat. You need to eat."

I respond with silence, and eventually I hear her footsteps fade away.

Time moved faster when I was younger. But then again, time passes slowly when all you do is wait for the day to end.

When I was younger… Robbie was there, too.

_"Heh heh. Is that your math score? You only got a 15!"_

_I turn around. Rex! He's making fun of me! He knows how stupid I am! I feel tears start to form in my eyes. I don't want to cry!_

_"Rex! Don't make fun of her!" Robbie scolds him. "Don't worry, Cat. Look, here's my score for our last spelling test."_

_He pulls out a paper with red markings all over it. He only got three right._

_"You should see how bad I did on our history test." He smiles._

_"Yeah. You're_ both_ idiots."_

_"Rex!" Robbie and I both shout at him. We turn back to each other and start to giggle._

_._

_._

_._

_Robbie taps my shoulder from his desk behind me._

_"Hey Cat! Our class field trip is next week! Do you want to be in the same car?"_

_"I can't go. I have to work that day."_

_The girl next to him sneers at me. "Cat is famous so she's super busy. There's no way she can go with us."_

_Robbie looks a bit sad. "I see. That must be tough. Maybe next time."_

He hasn't changed at all. He was always the only one who didn't treat me like a celebrity.

In the musical, Penelope was always so friendly that even her enemies grew to love her. Penelope was the kind of girl I always wanted to be, putting her whole heart into everything. I couldn't possibly be like her now.


	4. Chapter 4

It's been a few days since I've gone outside. I've been craving a burger, so I guess I'll visit Todd. I hope he's working today.

I sneak downstairs, but I guess I don't really have to. Mom and Dad should be gone to work and Frankie's a shut-in. He rarely leaves his room, and never leaves the house. He's gone outside a few times, sure, but he's always caused so much trouble because he hates it, and our parents have just given up.

I lock the door behind me and start walking. Something tells me to go to that park again. I make my way over and scan the area. There's only a mom and her little boy playing in the grass.

Of course, Robbie wouldn't conveniently be around, huh. I wanted to apologize. He didn't deserve what I said to him.

Thinking about it, I don't really feel that hungry anymore. Where should I go…?

_Do you have a place you feel you belong right now?_

That weird man's voice pops into my head.

_So what do you think? Would you like to attend?_

No way. Why would I want to go to school now? I start heading towards Q's anyway. Even if I'm not that hungry, Todd could be there. I keep walking and suddenly someone turns the corner and sees me. He stops immediately and stares.

It's that handsome boy from the school. He calls out to me.

"Oh, hey!"

I turn around and start sprinting the other direction. Why is he here? He starts running after me.

"Hey wait!"

Please don't follow me!

"CATERINA VAL-"

"Shhhhh!" I stop and whip around to face him. "Don't! I don't want attention!"

He pants and makes his way over to me. "I can tell. You've run away every time I've met you. You sure move fast for someone so small, you know that?"

"What do you want?"

"Cranky, aren't we?" He smiles. "What do I want? Why don't we start with a hello? You shouldn't just run away after someone greets you."

"…Hi."

"That's better. It's nice to know you can actually speak. Back then, standing on stage like that, I thought you were a dummy."

I feel myself start to shake. Why is he bringing this up?

"What are you trying to say?"

"Me? I was your fan. Convinced my parents to fly to LA to see your show. It was a big deal, I lived in Vancouver at the time. Tickets cost $63 for our seats. When I finally thought I'd see Cat Valentine sing onstage in front of me, she stood still for fifteen minutes. The curtains closed and there was an announcement for that show's cancellation."

He stuck his hands in his pockets and stared at me. "Do you have anything to say to a former fan?"

"Not really. It was your choice to come see me. I got fired and left the entertainment industry, and your ticket was refunded."

_This is wrong._

"I didn't even want to be a child star. My parents made me."

_This isn't what I want to say._

His eyes turn dark. "So it's all someone else's fault. This is your level of professionalism?"

That's right. Danielle had something that I lacked. That hunger, that drive, the ability to survive in that world.

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He sighs and rubs the back of his neck with his hands.

"Sorry I'm coming down on you so hard. It's just… when I heard you talking to Sikowitz, I got a bit upset." He looks back up at me. "Don't call Hollywood Arts weird or messed-up. At least we're trying to do something, unlike you."

He turns and walks away, and I watch his back as he moves away from me. Even at a time like this, I can't find my words. It's alright, though. I never have to see this guy again. I can just go back home, and wait for the day to end, like before. But then…

I catch up to him and grab the back of his shirt, pulling him to stop.

"Ahhh!"

This time I'm panting, and he turns to look at me.

"Um…" I don't know what to say.

He chuckles. "Come with me for a bit. Don't worry, it's close by."

We end up at a small café, with an "Open Mic" sign out front. There's another sign that says "Seat Yourself" next to a cash register, and we find a small table. There's an elevated stage in the corner, it's not very big, but some girl is onstage playing a song on her guitar.

A waiter comes over to our table and hands us menus. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"I'll have a Coke, please." The boy says.

"Uh, water's fine."

The waiter leaves and comes back shortly with our drinks, then takes off again.

"Do you ever do things like this?" His arms are crossed as he stares at the stage. I shake my head no, then I realize he probably didn't see me.

"No, I don't."

"Hm." He pauses for a moment. "My name is Beck, by the way. Beck Oliver."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Hi, Beck."

We sit in silence as we watch performer after performer. Neither of us orders anything, and just sip our drinks.

A girl finishes her spoken word poetry, and the M.C. comes back on stage.

"Alright, give it up for Amanda Morrison! Next on the list is a regular of ours. Get ready to have your funny bone tickled, it's Robbie Shapiro!"

Huh? I whip my head to face Beck. Does he know about me and Robbie? He looks over at me with a confused expression at my panic stricken face. I guess he doesn't.

Robbie comes onstage, and warms up the crowd with a few jokes before starting his comedy monologue. I… I think he's killing it. Everyone in the audience loves him.

"He's good." Beck laughs. I can't bring myself to enjoy this, not after what I said to him.

_"How stupid. You should stick to playing with your funny little toys. You know that pipedream will never come true."_

I wonder why I said such terrible things. He finishes his routine and everyone applauds. He makes his way off the stage and heads towards the restroom, but passes by our table on the way there.

"Huh? Cat?"

Oh no.

"Did you see me up there?" He smiles. "Just you wait, I'll prove you wrong. I WILL be a famous comedian, you wait and see."

He moves on, and I feel tears start up in my eyes. He's too nice to me.

"You know him?" Beck asks.

"Yeah… can we leave?"

"Alright. Let's go." He throws some money on the table before we start heading toward the door.

After we exit the place, we make our way down the street a little before Beck speaks up again. "Why don't you try coming to Hollywood Arts? It might make a difference you know. I'm going there right now, if you want to come."

He keeps walking, and my pace slows down.

_Make a difference?_

He turns back to look at me and smiles. "Well?"

I nod, and follow him all the way to school.


	5. Chapter 5

"Here we are!" Beck and I continue to walk closer to the building, when suddenly I stop. This is so new, it's scary. I don't know where to begin!

He turns around once he notices I've stopped walking, and looks at me with a worried expression. "What's wrong?"

"Um… uh… can you… what exactly is a free school? It's not like a regular high school, right?" That's a good question, isn't it?

"Oh, hmm. Sikowitz is probably gone by now, he loves explaining this part." Beck rubs the back of his neck, then looks back up at me. "Well, no, it's not your regular school. There aren't any requirements or grades or anything, and anyone can show up at any time of day, there isn't a schedule or anything."

"It can't be that simple, can it?"

Beck smiles. "Yes it can. Here, let me give you the tour."

We enter the foyer and I'm instantly blown away. After just a few steps, I'm surrounded by lockers decorated with all sorts of designs, some even have objects plastered the door, but each one has its own style and personality. Every once in a while there's a plain gray locker, so I guess those ones don't belong to anyone yet.

"The people that come here can get their own locker if they want. It's kind of a tradition to decorate your locker, and those that get their own pretty much have it done within a week. They have the locks built right into the door, so random people can't just come in here and claim one. If you want, we can talk to Sikowitz, he's the one that gives out the combination numbers."

"You keep talking about Sikowitz, who's he?"

"He's the one that led you here first. You know, bald head, crazy clothes, coconuts?"

"Oh yeah. He's… unusual."

He starts laughing, and the noise is echoed through the near-empty hallways. "Yes, that's just how he is. He's the self appointed principal of Hollywood Arts. But since he owns the place, I think it's pretty fair to make him our principal."

"He owns this entire building? How? He doesn't look rich."

"He used to be a Hollywood hot-shot. He produced and directed a bunch of movies after making it as a screenwriter, so he's loaded. But one day he just quit the biz altogether. He won't tell anyone why, but I'm okay with not knowing. He'll tell us when he's ready."

I look around at the vivid hallways and try to picture the kind of person that owns each locker. How would Beck decorate his? I walk up to a pale blue locker with autumn leaves painted on it. My fingers trace the edges of the design before I turn back to look at him.

"Which one is yours?"

"This one." He walks over to a bottom locker in the corner, and I follow him. His seems to be the most unique of all, because the door isn't metal, it's made of clear, thick plastic so its contents can be easily seen. All it has is a few books and an overshirt hanging from one of the hooks.

"Why isn't your door metal, like everyone else's?"

"The last person with this locker wanted to take the door they decorated, so they did. Sikowitz was not happy about it, but it had remained doorless up until I decided I wanted a locker for myself. At first I was assigned a different locker, but when I talked to Sikowitz about getting a transparent door for this one, he loved the idea and here it is."

"But why though? Why do you want others to see what's in here?"

He shrugs. "I've got no secrets, and neither does my locker. C'mon, there's more to see."

He leads me to the stairway and on the way up, a raven-haired girl dressed completely head-to-toe in black passes us by. Her skin was so fair, she looked like a porcelain doll! Except for the fact that she had her eyebrow pierced. I don't think I've ever seen a pure goth before and I couldn't pull my eyes away. She disappears out the front door and Beck's voice snaps me back into reality.

"You know, it's not polite to stare. You wouldn't like it if someone did that to you, right?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

He leads me through the school, and shows me the library. It's not one big room, but a series of rooms, all filled with books, and the amount of information in here is spectacular. There are students sitting on the floor reading or sitting at tables actually studying, which is completely different from the image I had of this school before I stepped foot here.

He shows me a few classrooms before we enter what looks like a music studio. There's a dark skinned boy with headphones on. It seemed like he was working on something, but as soon as we enter the room he looks up at us and smiles.

"What's up, Andre?" Beck motions to me. "Cat, this is Andre. Andre, Cat. She's new here."

"Hi!" I give a small smile back to him, and he nods at me.

"What're you working on?" Beck moves over to the panel that Andre is siting in front of. "I can never get over how many switches there are. How do you manage to keep track of them all?"

"You get used to it." Andre pulls off his headphones. "Check this out."

He pushes a button and music fills the room. It's… amazing. "Did you make this?" I ask.

"Yeah. I'm still working on it, though." He moves a few switches and the sound subtly changes, and I'm not quite sure what he's done, but the tone of the song seemed to have changed. It's like, he can hear all the different pieces of a song and knows how each sound individually affects the music. I lean over and see that everything on the switchboard is labeled, but only with a letter or two and numbers. I wonder what they all mean.

_Beepbeepbeep! Beepbeepbeep! Beepbeepbeep!_

Beck pulls out his phone. "Sorry about that. I set an alarm so I could be on time for my part-time job. I better get going."

"Then I should leave too!" I take a step but he stops me.

"No way, Cat. You're not done with your tour. You should check out the rest of the school." He opens the door and turns back to me. "See you later?"

"Yeah. Okay. Um… thanks. For taking me here."

"No problem." He waves behind me. "Catch you later, Andre!"

"See ya, Beck!" The door closes with a soft _click_, and he's gone.

I sit down and watch Andre work for a while, the music swirling around me as he shifts the sounds ever so slightly. He looks up at me every once in a while, but I can tell he's lost in the music.

"Do you want me to show you the rest of the school?" He asks.

"No, I'll just go look around by myself." I get up to leave and put my hand on the doorknob when I hear him.

"See ya later, Lil Red."

I turn to look at him but his headphones are already back on, his eyes are closed, and he's leaning back comfortably in his chair. Lil Red. I've never had a nickname like that before. I think he's the first that's ever cared to make one for me.

I wander the school grounds for a little while more, then decide to just head home. I think maybe, just maybe… I might come back tomorrow.

**A/N: I'm soooo sorry for being this incredibly slow at updating! If you read my other story, you'll know I have been really busy, since all my professors have suddenly decided to double the workload. It's really poopy. And yes, the goth girl is Jade, but I have plans for her introduction. You'll see ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

I open the front door of my house, the lock clicking softly as I shut it behind me.

"Mooom, can you give me more money to buy some more books?" Olly's voice resounds through the halls.

"Again? I just gave you some the other day."

"Yeah, but I used it all on notebooks and stuff…"

His voice trails off as he turns and sees me. He's only a little taller than I am, but he's still growing. He _is_ only in middle school, after all. His shaggy brown hair falls in curls over his face, and I can barely see the deep coffee brown in his eyes, the shadows causing the color to look almost black.

"…What are you looking at?" He sneers.

Of course. He resents me, too. Doing nothing all day while he has to live with the reputation of having a shut-in for a sister. I continue moving through the halls, trudging steadily up the stairs, when I hear Mom's voice.

"Cat?" I can hear the desperation laced in her voice. "Cat, I'm leaving your dinner on the table, so make sure you eat it."

"Mom, just forget about her! She never listens to you, anyway."

Olly's words are muffled after closing my bedroom door, and I decide to change into an old blue nightgown and sit on my bed. Clutching my pillow, I lean back against the headboard and stare out the window. The sun's starting to set, making the sky turn the color of tangerines, and it melds outward into a soft, pale yellow; the clouds hanging hear the horizon turn pink, almost like floating wads of cotton candy. I watch as the streetlights slowly flicker to life, casting their yellowish glow on the objects beneath them. My eyes wander the scenery, and finally rest on the park in the distance. Where I met Robbie. If it were Robbie that all this happened to, that froze on stage, would he be like me? I… I don't think so. He'd probably have no problem, since he has so many friends by his side. I should apologize to him…

Slowly, slowly, the daylight fades, and darkness settles in on the world outside. The yellow beams down below turn to spotlights on the street, bringing attention to nothing but grass and concrete and the shiny chrome of nearby cars. I feel my stomach growl a little, so I swing my feet over the edge of the bed and touch them to the ground. I wonder what Mom made for dinner. I hope it's not meatloaf again.

…

My shoes scuff the gravel of the sidewalk as I meander through the park. It's Sunday. I wonder where Robbie is. Maybe the Open Mic thing is happening again… wait. Am I a stalker? No, I'm… I'm just… I'm going home.

As soon as I turn to leave, I hear his voice.

"Cat? Is that you?" He's wearing a dark green shirt and jeans, with a plastic bag of groceries in each hand. He looks surprised to see me.

"Yeah! Hi."

"What are you doing out here?"

"Th-this park doesn't belong to anyone! It's not weird that I'm here, right?"

What am I saying? My mouth suddenly feels dry and my palms sweat. W-why can't I talk to this boy normally?

"…Right." He nods his head slowly. "It's not weird that you're here, so calm down, okay? Take a deep breath."

I breathe in, and exhale deeply. My nerves are still on edge, but I feel a little better. I… I feel like running away again, but force myself to stand still.

"Um… I should get going." I motion back to my house, and turn to leave.

"Wait, Cat!" I stop mid-step, and Robbie lifts his grocery bags higher. "Did you eat yet?" He rests the bags back at his sides. "It's my turn to cook today, so I'm about to fix lunch. You should come with me. And I have something to ask you, if that's all right. We can talk over lunch, how does that sound?"

_He has something to ask me?_

I'm not quite sure what to say, so I nod silently, and my pace matching his as we walk side-by-side to his house.

He doesn't say much, and I don't know what to say, so the stroll is a little awkward, to say the least. But at least he lives nearby, so it doesn't last too long. We come up to a two-story house, beige and white, with red shingles neatly lining the rooftop. Almost as soon as we enter the door, I can hear a little voice belting from upstairs.

"ROBBIE! You're home! I'm starving!"

The sound of feet galloping down the stairs doesn't seem to faze him at all. I'm not quite sure what to do, so I simply stand in the doorway as he steps into the house.

"Sorry it's a little messy, but come inside." He motions me to follow him, and I close the door behind us.

"So whatcha cookin' this time Ro-"

A small girl in a ladybug shirt and denim shorts swings around the corner, her brown hair flying in front of her shoulders from the sudden stop as she lays eyes on me, blue eyes growing wide.

"You brought a _girl_ home? She's cute, too! How'd you manage that?"

"Oh, be quiet, Marisa!" He shoves a bag in her arms and she sticks her tongue out at him, giggling as he storms to the kitchen. Her smile quickly disappears after she peeks in the bag, rummaging through the ingredients.

"Spaghetti again? But that's what you made last time!"

"Yeah, well, you texted me saying you wanted something fast, and unless I buy something ready made, this is as fast as it gets."

I watch as she trails behind her big brother into the kitchen, and not knowing what else to do, I follow her. Robbie is unloading the bags of noodles, sauce, and breadsticks while Marisa is rinsing dirty plates and glasses before placing them in the dishwasher.

"Marisa, didn't I ask you to clean this up earlier?"

"I'm doing it now, aren't I?"

He lets out a sigh then fills a pot with water, setting it on the stove before turning to me.

"Sorry about all this, Cat. Make yourself at home. It's a mess, but you can find a seat somewhere. It shouldn't be long for all of this to be ready."

I nod, feeling awkward once again before wandering the halls of his house. I'm too agitated to sit down. The house is neat and nice enough, with some plants in the corner and matching furniture in a comforting shade of brown, but what makes me stop is the wall. Pictures framed, pinned, arranged in any which way hang on this wall, and I can see him. Ten years old, pajamas on Christmas morning. Four years old on the beach. Most with his puppet. The most recent ones without. I find myself attracted to a photo of him onstage, and it looks like he's mid-laugh, eyes squinted and mouth slightly open with that smile. I could tell that day, too, during his open mic monologue. Being onstage makes him feel… alive.

"He's gonna make it big, y'know."

Her voice makes me jump, and I whip around to see Marisa standing behind me, her blue eyes shining up at me.

"He's gonna be on TV one day! And when he does, he's gonna take me to New York and buy me anything I want."

I turn back to the picture. Onstage is where he belongs. He's so much stronger than I am, than I'll ever be. And those dreams he had, that he still has, I believe they're going to come true.

"Yeah, he will."

Robbie's voice echoes through the halls as he calls us for lunch, and Marisa scrambles back to the kitchen. I'm not nearly as eager, but I follow behind, turning into the kitchen to see her already seated at the table, a plate of spaghetti piled in front of her. Robbie hands me a plate, and I serve myself with some noodles before settling into a chair.

"Thanks Robbie! I was sooo hungry!" Marisa spools the noodles onto her fork, and Robbie scolds her to slow down. The two siblings bicker and he makes her laugh, almost making her choke on her water, and… how long has it been… since I shared a meal with others?

"Hey you, you're not eating much. Don't you like Robbie's food?" Marisa slurps down another string of noodles, and Robbie shoots her a dirty look.

"Marisa, her name is Cat! Don't just go around calling people "hey you", it's rude. At least ask her name!"

"No, it's fine," I say. "It's just that… it's been a while since I've done anything like this." I take a bite of one of the meatballs in front of me. The sweet tang of the marinara sauce is delicious as the savory food almost melts in my mouth. "It's very good."

Marisa laughs and Robbie smiles, both of their expressions aimed at me. I feel so overwhelmed. Being here is both cozy, and uncomfortable. After we've satisfied our stomachs, Marisa heads back upstairs to work on her homework, and Robbie and I are left with the dishes.

"My sister really likes you. She can be a bit annoying, so sorry about that."

"No, not at all! But, do you always do the cooking? Where's your mom?"

"Well, I usually take turns with my dad. My mom died when I was 13."

My heart drops into my stomach, a sharp pang cutting through my chest. She… died? His mother died? What… what can I possibly say?

"It's a bit tough, but I manage somehow," he continues. "Marisa's always upbeat as well."

The sound of clattering dishes and running water comes to a stop as we rinse and dry the last pot.

"Um… I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Don't worry about it. I wouldn't expect you to know."

I bite my lip, fiddling with my mind the words I want to tell him as I twist the dishrag in my hands. "What I said to you the other day-"

"Don't worry about that either! I can't even remember it now." He dries his hands with a small towel and beams at me. "Remember that time I showed you my test score back in elementary school? I'm not very smart, so I forget things easily."

_But you remembered that, from all those years ago._

I can feel the heat rise in my cheeks, just a little bit. W-what? Why? I just-

The doorbell rings, and I can hear Marisa racing to answer the door. The soft murmur of voices floats through the hallways, and it's not long before Marisa is sliding into the kitchen in her sock covered feet.

"Robbie! That other girl is here again!"

His eyebrows knit down in confusion at his sister's triumphant announcement.

"Huh?"

"Hel-" A girl with short brown hair pokes her head into the kitchen, her excited expression frozen at the sight of me. I think I recognize her. Was she with Robbie's other friends in the park that day?

"Hey, Lucy," he addresses her. "What's going on?"

"Oh, um, I'm sorry. I was just wanted to return some DVDs I borrowed since I was in the area…"

Her smile flickers as her eyes dart between me and Robbie, then lets out a nervous giggle, her shoulders sagging.

"Oh, I see Robbie. So that's how it is. You said earlier that you weren't allowed to have girls over, but-"

"That's how what is?" The confusion creeps back onto his face.

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt!" She takes a step back and is ready to turn and leave.

"Lucy, stop. Cat is…" He turns to look at me before facing her again. "…just an old classmate. I said that before, didn't I?"

I'm not sure why, but… that bothers me. I feel a sudden twist in my gut, my shoulders pulling back just a little too tight. I set the rag clenched in my hands on the counter next to the sink.

"I'm leaving." The words slip from my tongue before I realize what I'm saying, Robbie ushering a soft goodbye from behind me as I exit the house.

"Cat, you're leaving?" Marisa's voice booms out to me. She must have run out to see me off. "Are you gonna come again?"

I don't give her an answer. I just keep moving. The neighborhood streets are empty, people at home relaxing on the weekend, no rushing cars or hurried bikers. I'm not going home just yet, but my feet keep moving, thoughts rushing through my skull. It's not like he said anything wrong. We are nothing but old classmates, so he isn't wrong at all. But if that's the way it is, then why does it hurt so much?

People walk past without a second glance my way, huddled in groups of giggling girls or businessmen on their lunch breaks. Stores filled with fancy clothes or sweet desserts, the kinds of places a normal 16-year-old would choose to go, I simply pass by. Instead, I wind up once again at Hollywood Arts. I try the door to the building, and it's unlocked. Even on a Sunday. Beck wasn't kidding when he said there was no schedule. But… there's no one here. The hallways seem emptier than they did before, if that's even possible, the sound of my own footsteps echoing back to my ears. I've only been to this place once before, so why does it make me feel so comfortable?

I wander the hallways, not quite sure where to go, so I try a door. It's the computer room. That goth girl from before is sitting at a monitor, and looks up, scanning me. Her fair skin looks even paler compared to the black she's wearing from head to toe. The only color she wears is the green stripes ringing in her jet black hair. I turn away from her piercing stare, and sit down at a different computer, letting her know I won't bother her. She seems to understand, her fingers flying back across her keyboard, the clacking of keys filling the room. It's a nice, monotonous sound, calming me down as my mind wanders back to Marisa. She ran out after me, and I couldn't even turn around to wave goodbye, leaving her questions unanswered. That wasn't right. Not at all. Who am I trying to kid, thinking that I could be normal? I'm not normal at all…

The sun's rays filter through the windows, mixing with the florescent light from the ceiling above. I'm snapped back to reality at the sudden movement of the girl standing, her chair rattling against the floor as it's pushed out. She makes her way over to me, palm flat against the desk as she leans against it, studying my face.

"So what's your deal? You've been sitting there doing absolutely nothing for almost an hour. Just… staring."

I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. I never expected her to talk to me!

"Uh, um, I…"

She leans back up, standing straight with her hands on her hips. "You got a name?"

"Cat."

"Jade." She motions to herself. "Now that that's over, here's what I really want to ask you. If there was a murderer in your house, which would scare you more: the creaking of footsteps or the sound of objects being moved?"

What kind of question is that? "…Footsteps?"

"Ugh, but that's so cliché!" She waves her hand in dismissal and walks back to her computer.

I'm curious now. I rise to my feet and peek over her shoulder, reading what she's writing down. It's a script of some sort.

"I'm writing a screenplay for a horror movie," she explains, not bothering to look up.

I read a paragraph or two, but most of it is actions and blocking, what the actors are supposed to do.

"It doesn't seem too scary. I could watch this."

She peeks over her shoulder at me, a smirk smeared on her face. "Well yeah, it doesn't seem scary now. It's just words on paper. A blueprint for a haunted house doesn't seem too bad but man," she gives a contented sigh, "once you step in my funhouse, you'll be wetting yourself."

"Oh." I'm not quite sure what to say after that, so I sit in the chair beside her. She looks over at me, her gaze more interested than threatening now, and resumes typing. After a few more minutes, she slams her hands on the desk in front of her, making me jump from the sudden boom, a squeak escaping my lips.

"Get up. We're leaving. It's almost dark and it's not smart for a girl to walk alone at night."

I nod and she slides a flash drive into her bookbag before slinging it onto her shoulder, then throws open the door while I scurry behind her. She's so… dark. And harsh. All that black, and the horror stuff… she's a bit scary. She's not normal, but neither am I. She seems to be okay with my strangeness, so I guess, I'm okay with hers, too.

She doesn't try to make conversation, except to ask where I live, and she keeps a few paces ahead of me. The night air is crisp and cool on my skin, and I'm not quite sure how I ended up staying out this late. The sidewalks winding back to my house are just as quiet as they were this afternoon, the streetlights casting the same glow they do night after night. In the distance four figures stand together. Probably some boys who are trying to be cool by staying out late. Their voices are louder than they realize, the nightly silence amplifying their voices so it reaches even us.

"Hey Olly, you really don't have any money?"

"What do you mean? I gave it all to you yesterday."

Huh?

I come to a halt, Jade noticing and turning back to see what's wrong. Olly is… what's going on?

"This isn't even enough money for a video game."

"But I… I just got money yesterday to pay for books, so it's pretty hard to ask right now."

"Stop making excuses. Are you gonna give us the money or not?"

I can't tear my eyes away, but my feet are rooted where I stand.

Jade jabs her thumb in their direction. "You know that kid getting bullied?"

"Yeah. He's my brother. Every now and then, he gets asked for money."

It looks like things are starting to get bad; the other three boys start to circle in on him.

"He probably doesn't want to end up like me, and he has a hard time making friends, so I guess he uses money to buy them."

The boys start prodding him, getting harder with their shoves, asking if he'll cough up the money. I want to help, but there's nothing I can do. I can only make things worse if I get involved, but…

"You really want to help him, don't you?"

I don't move a muscle, but she lowers her bookbag, swiftly pulling out a laptop, setting it up quickly before her fingers dance over the keys. Her finger taps the ENTER key, then the sound of sirens shrieks through the air, her speakers blaring the alarms.

The boys scatter, Olly slightly disheveled since he fell to the ground, but scurries away just like the others. One more click of the ENTER key and the sirens stop, a satisfied glint in Jade's eyes. She closes her laptop and puts it back in her bag, just as it was before, as I watch Olly go. When she looks back up, Jade follows my gaze and watches the figure with me, my brother sprinting up the block and through our front yard, turning into a faraway shadow and disappearing though the doorway to my house. Jade didn't say a single word as she turned and left, but with her back towards me as she walked away, I could almost hear the words she meant to say.

See you tomorrow.

**A/N: Heeyyyy guys... it's been a while since I uploaded a new chapter for this. It's been what, 6 months? Hahaha! Haha... ha... *clears throat***

**So I finally took this off the shelf, dusted it off, and it had such a nice shine I had to play with it again. Because I love shiny objects. Shiny, shiny, shine, sunshine, shoe shine, sushi, slushie, soup, potato. Huh. It's a wonder I was able to concentrate long enough to type out this chapter. **

**So review, even if it's a string on consciousness about the peanut butter sandwich you ate this afternoon.**


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